Gay or Straight, if you’re new to the gay community, you might come across a few phrases or labels that you don’t have a clue what they mean. For the gays, that lack of understanding might land you in an interesting situation… such as showing up at a guy’s house for the first time expecting to go play water polo and finding out that “water sports” is something else entirely.
To avoid these awkward situations, here’s my take on a few of the labels and pieces of information you should be aware of- without venturing into the XXX realm of course, this isn’t xtube after all! I’ve added a few I’ve recently learned, as well as some coined by our very own Homorazzi cast members… and remember, we’re defining stereotypes here, so the descriptions are going to be extremely stereotypical in nature.
Redd’s article Giver or Receiver? Pitcher or Catcher? already talked a bit about the sexual labels, but I’ll recap them here quickly:
- This label applies to both Mo and Lezzy and is meant to refer to the person who will be doing the penetrating, whether they may or may not actually be on “top”. Other colloquial terms are Pitcher or Power Top (which is meant to indicate they don’t bottom… EVER.)
- This one is pretty obvious since we’ve already covered “top” but just in case: if you’re the bottom you can expect to be getting poked- and it applies to both Mo and Lezzy as well. Strictly speaking, that’s about all the top or bottom labels should really mean, but I’m not going to venture into the social implications of these labels at the moment. (That’s coming in a subsequent article!) Other terms for this are Catcher, Nelly and Power Bottom.
- I would venture to say that behind closed doors, most gay people fall into this category, which means that they are willing to pitch or catch depending on the situation and the partner.
Next, we have the various labels placed on various types of gay people, followed by some various other terms that may be important for you to know:
- Twinks are generally quite young (18 to mid-20′s), skinny, have essentially no body hair and may frequently be found applying foundation or fake tanning lotion. Generally, they act as though the entire world revolves around the fact that they are young and gay.
- Essentially, this is a Twink with muscles. This can also apply to twinks as they get a little older and grow out of the initial: “Oh my God, I’m young and free and the world should know it” phase. Also, Twunks don’t necessarily wear foundation, but they’ll probably be found fake-baking with regularity.
- Sandwich was coined amongst our group of friends and is meant to be used whilst in public when you see a hot guy. Sandwiches are definitely hot, usually muscular and in the prime of their life (I’ll leave that open to interpretation). If you’ve seen The Broken Hearts Club, this would be synonymous with “Meanwhile…”
- The Bear is the polar opposite of the Twink. Bears are large and in charge, wouldn’t dream of shaving ANY of their body hair and frequently don’t wear deodorant. Large and jovial, these beasts range from muscle-daddy to Sumo wrestler, are generally a little older and are usually some of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet.
- Cubs are bears in the making (I know, how creative right?) Just like in good ol’ nature, Cubs are going to be smaller, younger and have less hair (usually) than their Bear counterparts. It’s not uncommon to see a Bear & Cub couple either (kind of like a Daddy/Twink situation only less… creepy.) [Editor's Note: There is NOTHING creepy about that "situation"... trust me!]
- The Otter label is either newer or just a lot less known than the others. There are also a couple differing opinions on what this means… but essentially it’s a sub-category of Bears. Otters are skinnier, but still rock the full-out body hair. They will usually be short-ish and although skinnier than bears, they usually still have round-ish features (but sometimes kind of flat, which is where the “Otter” part comes in.)
- Chaser (aka, Chubby Chaser)
- This is pretty self-explanatory, but it refers to someone who typically isn’t fat but who likes to date larger people. This isn’t a strictly gay term either, as evidenced by this video (which your boss probably won’t think is nearly as funny as you do if you open it at work).
- This is a shout-out for all our fabulous Lesbianese girls. Lipstick refers to those lesbians who are ultra-girly and all the dudes want to get with. They are sexy, sultry and every Twink wants to be them… minus the vagina part.
Other Important Terms
- These guys really throw a wrench in our Gaydar sometimes. A Metrosexual guy is one who may outwardly appear gay (expert grooming, fantastic style) but who is actually straight. Usually, these guys make pretty awesome friends (as long as you can keep your friends from molesting them anyway).
- Learn this term well and put it into practice (unless you’re a Bear of course). Manscaping is the colloquial term for grooming… and as a gay man, I’m here to tell you- again, unless you’re a Bear- you should be manscaping. Jamie provided us with some excellent tips here.
- Fag Hag
- There is a whole culture around this one, and you can read more on the specific relationship on Stephen’s post… however a Fag Hag technically means a straight girl who wants to have sex with gay men and contrary to popular belief, being called a Fag Hag isn’t a compliment. It means you’re creepy.
- Fruit Fly
- Although less popular- and not quite as easily rolled off the tongue- this term actually describes what most people think of when they think “Fag Hag”. Fruit Flies don’t want to have sex with us, they are just uber-fabulous girls who understand gay culture and love to hang out. The gay boys love them too and buzz around them… like flies,
- Fag Stag
- This one’s a new one for me, but apparently it’s code for a straight guy who hangs out with a lot of gay guys. I’d never heard of it before until doing some research on this article and thought it was good enough to make the list!
- Water Sports / Golden Shower
- This one is important. Water sports aren’t actually sports at all, and hopefully you can tell from the synonymous term what it’s really all about. That’s right kids. Pee.
- Gay Curious
- Let’s be honest- this really means “I’ve slept with all your guy friends but don’t want to admit it”.
- These are also new terms for me and I just had to include them. A Hasbian is a Lesbian who has chosen to live a heterosexual life. Conversely, a Yestergay is a gay man who has chosen to live a heterosexual life. I love a good play on words and these totally made me laugh.
This list could just go on and on really, and there are a whole lot more sex-related terms that you may want to brush up on… but I’m going to let someone else discuss those if they so choose (and the Homorazzi cast member who fits the profile to do so knows exactly who he is!) *WINK*
Hopefully you’ve learned something new and/or had a good chuckle or two!