CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #193
Show of hands, during the climactic, face-scrunching moment of the sex act, how many of you out there sometimes find yourself thinking, “Gee, I must look pretty silly right about now”? C’mon, be honest… Okay, I understand. This is a little too intimate for a public conversation. How about if we do it this way: If you’re alone right now, just nod. If you’re reading this with your sexual partner, simply look at them, smile sheepishly, then, when they smile back, suddenly twist your face into your freakiest orgasm position. If they laugh, know you’re in good company. Give them a hug, hit the play button on your DVR and watchTwo and a Half Men. If they don’t laugh, hit the play button on your DVR, watch Two and a Half Men, then go out and find a new partner.
Awright, shut up, siddown and listen. I am da immortal spirit Sheldon Leonard and for da last few years I’ve been using da body of Chuck Lorre to channel my ideas for new sitcoms. For da record, he’s a stinkin’ lousy channel and my ideas are much better than what he’s puttin’ on television. Dis is why I am breaking my anonymity. No matter how specifical I tell da kid what to write, he still manages to cock it up.Dharma & Greg? What da hell was dat? I specifically said “do a show about a queer guy who loves a straight chick, and she loves him back, but they can’t, you know, bump uglies.” But does Lorre listen? No way Jose. The putz turns it inside out, winds up with hippie chick loves uptight lawyer and then wonders why he can’t buy an Emmy. (I did find a writing team to act as a channel for dat pitch, which worked out pretty good, Emmy and cash-wise.) Anyway, back to Lorre. Couple years later while he’s sleepin’, I whisper to him, “Two brudders inherit a midget.” Funny, right? What’s Lorre do? You got it. Two and a Half Men. Gimme a break! Anyway, I decide to give the mook one last chance. While he’s under da gas at the dentist, I tell him to do a show about four wise guys and a sexy dame what knows da score. So what does da knucklehead do? Scientists and a waitress! It just breaks my heart. But at least the dope managed to slip my name in dis one. Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta schlep over to Milton Berle’s crypt for a little pinochle with the boys.
Barney Stinson tells another true story!
I found this hilarious short film by Heather Morris while looking for the song of the day. This just adds to the very large pile of why I love you Heather Morris. I hope you enjoy!
Yes it’s back! Facts and Chicks!!!! The reason it hasn’t appeared in so long is that it became extremely time consuming to do. I mean i have to look at the website (factsandchicks.com), post them here, and think of funny comments. I mean that can be way to much for this boy to handle, but whenever I have some random time inbetween studies I’ll do a Facts and Chick for my straight guy friends. I mean it’s the least I can do since they put up with Man Crush of the Day!
It’s cause their blood has traveled to their hair!
My question, of course, is how big is his dick?
Glad I didn’t start smoking pot until my brain was completely developed!
Now man up and giggle! It’s good for your health!
So men with one testicle want to take over the world you say? Everybody start watching Lance Armstrong!
Okay this may be true widespread, but as the oldest of 4 with 2 vagina-loving baby brothers, I am going to have to say lie!
I hope Drake remembers that 50% of his fans come from the days when he was just Aubrey Graham a Jewish Black Canadian kid playing a kid who was shot and was in a wheelchair. Never Forget, Drake!
In honor of the fact that I’m not on probation anymore and that I am a free man. Lame and quite predictable choice, I know. But, I can go visit friend’s out of state now. I can breath easy and it feels damn good! Plus I love George Michael! He is easily one of my top ten favorite michaels!