CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #198

Censored!

 

Well, wouldn’t ya’ know it. Just two episodes back from the strike and I’ve already managed to write a vanity card that is completely unacceptable to the good folks at CBS. I wasn’t trying to offend. Honest. I just saw an opportunity to poke some proverbial fun, to knosh on the hand that feeds, if you will. They were not amused. If you would like to read my latest exercise in poor judgement, I’m sure you can find it somewhere on that thing we writers were striking to claim dominion over. Just to be on the safe side, I apologize in advance. Please know that my aim was only to provoke a bit of gaiety through the judicious use of a little thing I like to call “the truth.” Unfortunately, in the television business, the truth rarely sets anyone free. More often than not, it just pisses them off.

Song of The Day

I would be more articulate with the message before today’s Song of The Day, but I just watched the season 8 finale of Grey’s Anatomy and words are extremely hard to form.

Man Crush of the Day

Hey everyone, well I was looking at my friend Michael’s blog and I found two very suitable choices (I think) for Man Crush of the Day. So since I couldn’t decide, I decided to just let you have both. I hope you enjoy your dual Man crushes of the day!

 

Facts and Chicks

Yes it’s back! Facts and Chicks!!!! The reason it hasn’t appeared in so long is that it became extremely time consuming to do. I mean i have to look at the website (factsandchicks.com), post them here, and think of funny comments. I mean that can be way to much for this boy to handle, but whenever I have some random time inbetween studies I’ll do a Facts and Chick for my straight guy friends. I mean it’s the least I can do since they put up with Man Crush of the Day!

It’s cause their blood has traveled to their hair!

My question, of course, is how big is his dick?

Glad I didn’t start smoking pot until my brain was completely developed!

Damn vikings!

Now man up and giggle! It’s good for your health!

So men with one testicle want to take over the world you say? Everybody start watching Lance Armstrong!

Okay this may be true widespread, but as the oldest of 4 with 2 vagina-loving baby brothers, I am going to have to say lie!

The Real Drake

I hope Drake remembers that 50% of his fans come from the days when he was just Aubrey Graham a Jewish Black Canadian kid playing a kid who was shot and was in a wheelchair. Never Forget, Drake!

26 Things Every Evil Overlord Should Say

Some useful phrases to use as an Evil Overlord as given by Steve Meredith. These humorous cuts were originally listed as useful phrases to use around work but they probably only work well if you are a Evil Overlord(TM).

 

1. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
2. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
3. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t care.
6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
8. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
9. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
11. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
13. No, my powers can only be used for good.
14. How about never? Is never good for you?
15. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
16. You sound reasonable…Time to up my medication.
17. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
18. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message…
19. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
21. My toys! My toys! I can’t do this job without my toys!
22. It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.
23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
25. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
26. Someday, we’ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

My only question is where can I be an Evil Overlord so I can use these nifty coomebacks?…oh wait the bar!

Happy Pi Day!!!

From one nerd to another, I hope you all enjoy the arbitrary celebration of an important moment in arithmetic history! Happy Pi Day!